My scrapbook

I mentioned in my last post that I had been working on my military scrapbook. I also said that it has been an emotional roller coaster, but not in the way you might think.

Looking at those pictures, the memories are good, mostly, and yet there is a longing for that life again. Though I remember how horrible some of those times were and the tears that were shed over them, I stare in amazement at the close calls and paths that could have turn out to have devastating effects. The feeling is more than that though, so much so that I am not sure I can describe it. It is the fear of what could have been and the hope of the end, chunked together with love for those around me, riddled in some areas with guilt for "quitting", and encased in a longing for those connections again.
Overall, though it is only a scrapbook, I am finding other qualities as well. It is my much needed therapist, who tells me to put it on a page, then close the book and move on! It is a drill sergeant saying...GET IT DONE! And then of course it is like many of my loving friends and family. It takes the time to hear my stories (though they are of no interest to them!) and lets me cry when it hurts, laugh when I can't hold it in, and never condemns for either.


Since it is only a book though, it began me thinking of those family and friends who have been there through the dark hours. Thank you to all who have listened, shared, and hoped for a brighter future with me. I couldn't have done it without you!